1. Use your brain -- you were
born with one for many reasons.
2. Just because you can
breed doesn't mean you should -- never breed if you can't support your
babies by yourself.
3. Some squirrels
should never breed. If you know a squirrel that shouldn't breed, inform Law Enforcement or the Judicial Branch. The
squirrel in question will be assigned a job that is important enough to keep her from
having enough time to breed.
4. Only breed when you
know you'll be able to provide for your young by yourself, no matter how
insistent the ranking male is with you. His part in making the babies is
very short and he may decide not to help you once your babies are born.
5. Don't expect other
squirrels to take care of your babies for you. You made the decision to
have them -- they are your problem. If your babies die because you weren't
prepared to take care of them yourself, it is your fault and you
shouldn't have any more babies since you are not smart enough to figure
out when you should and shouldn't have babies.
6. If you decide to
have babies and find out that you can't handle it, give your babies to
the top ranking female. She can always use a little extra food to help
her nurse her babies.
7. If you don't like
the idea of giving your babies to the ranking female, you can
leave them outside of a Human rehabilitator's dwelling. The Human will
raise them for you since you are not smart enough to know when
you should and shouldn't have babies.
8. If you live in trees (as
all SIB do), do not give birth in
your summer home - it is not designed to withstand the winter winds. You
should either use your winter home, a tree hole, or empty bird
house (not a nest).
9. Always pick out more
than one nest site for emergency use.
10. Never pick a birthing site
that is on the ground unless you live in or on the ground anyway.
11. Never pick a
birthing site that is wet, dirty, or smells funny.
12. Never give birth
inside Human dwellings - you won't like the outcome.
13. Keep your nest
clean and dry or your neighbors may report you to Law Enforcement or the
Judicial Branch.
14. To keep your
neighbors from complaining about the smell, change out your bedding
before or as
soon as it begins to smell.
15. In the event of a wet
winter, you'll need to store some bedding away in a dry location or you
may end up with cold, wet, moldy dead babies.
16. Clean your babies
often. Nobody likes messy, smelly babies.
17. Clean your babies
all at the same time. If you only clean them as they need it, then you
won't ever get rest as each baby is likely to have its own cycle. If you
clean them often and at the same time from the moment they are born,
they will eventually develop the same cycle.
18. Don't try to stay
awake for nursing - it'll just make you unable to function over time.
Being a squirrel, you can use feedings to take a nap. During the first few
weeks it will be difficult, but you will eventually be able to sleep
through just about anything your babies do - including using your body
for climbing and pouncing practice.
19. Don't worry about
grooming yourself like you used to when you weren't a mother. Once or
twice a day is enough during this time as long as you don't smell funny.
You may be pleasantly surprised when babies will start cleaning
your hands, feet, face, and teeth for you.
20. As the babies get
older, they will need to exercise their jaws and teeth. Provide plenty
of small sticks and leaves for them or your nipples will suffer greatly
as they learn to chew on them instead.
21. Don't eat your own
babies. This urge only occurs when food is scarce and your body is
unable to produce enough milk for the babies.
22. If you get the urge
to eat your babies, find the offspring of the lowest ranking female in
your territory. Remember, your higher rank means your babies are
superior to hers. It is vital for the squirrel species that your babies
survive. Don't worry about the mother - if you are a higher rank than
her, she won't resist.
23. Having multiple
babies will drain your milk quickly. To keep producing, make sure you
eat well and change positions regularly. Start by laying down on your back. When you
feel pressure (letting you know you are running low), stand up. This will
help direct any leftover milk to the nipples while telling your body to
produce more. If you fail to do this, your nipples will suffer as your
babies try to bite them off to get to more milk.
24. Don't punish your
babies -- guide them. They have absolutely no clue, nor will they for some time yet.
Just be patient. If you can't be patient, then don't have babies. We
don't need a bunch of abused, dysfunctional, violent, and emotionally disturbed
squirrels entering our society.
25. Don't worry when
your babies hit their heads unless their behavior suddenly changes.
It's normal and they will eventually learn not to do it.
26. If your baby hits
its head and does begin to act funny, try to keep it warm and active. If
it slows down and doesn't recover, either leave it with the top ranking
female or leave it at a Human rehabilitator's dwelling. Leaving it in
the nest will get very messy and smelly, and will make your other babies
messy, smelly, sick and dead.
27. Always trust your
instincts regarding predators. If at any time you feel your nest is
being watched, don't wait - move immediately. This is why you always
choose multiple nests before giving birth.
28. Never stay in a
nest that has 24 hour lighting or strange humming sounds coming from a
hole. Chances are good that you are being watched by Humans.
29. When you do go out
to feed, cover your babies in the warm leaves you were just laying on
and be very quick. The longer you are gone, the colder they will get.
Cold babies eventually become messy, smelly, and dead.
30. Try to feed during
the warmest time of the day. This will also keep your babies from
getting cold, messy, smelly, and dead.
31. If one of your
babies is missing after you return from feeding, don't panic. Check just
outside of the nest on the ground. Most of the time, missing babies have
either fallen out of the nest or were thrown out by ambitious rank-climbing
siblings.
32. If you can't find
your missing baby within a short period of time, give up. You still have
other babies that need you. They could get cold, messy, smelly, and dead
if you continue looking; or you could be caught by a predator which
would be the end of all your babies, making them sad, scared, hungry, cold,
smelly, messy, and dead.
33. When your babies
get to the point where they eat solid food, it's time to cut them off
from your milk.
34. When the babies eat
solid food, they are ready to go outside (weather permitting).
35. At first, your
babies will be overwhelmed and careless outside, so you must keep an eye
on them at all times or you could be reported as a negligent mother to
Law Enforcement or the Judicial Branch. You'll have time to socialize
with your nosey, tattletale neighbors after the babies are on their own.
36. Teach your babies
the different sounds of each animal, including Humans. Also teach them
the various emergency calls and tail signals that could save their
lives. Nobody else will.
37. Once your babies
have mastered finding food for themselves, you are free until the next
breeding cycle.
38. Don't return to the
nest immediately. Your babies must figure out for themselves
that they are on their own.
39. Your babies will
eventually go their separate ways. Be proud that you have successfully
reared another generation of the greatest species on Earth.
40. Now it's time to
work on improving your rank.
