Introduction:  We, the dark-furred tree squirrels of the Squirrel Interference Bureau, swear to serve and protect all squirrels from Human interference using all means at our disposal. For a list of unclassified methods, contact your nearest SIB Public Relations representative.  You can find one located at the tallest tree in your precinct.

Protection:  If at any time a Human interferes with a squirrel's home, family, or person; contact your nearest SIB representative immediately. 

Community:  We, at the Squirrel Interference Bureau, take time to bring the community together through various programs, events, and celebrations.  A calendar of these events can be obtained from your nearest SIB representative.

Economy:  We, at the Squirrel Interference Bureau, also take time to arrange inexpensive non-squirrel labor for rapid economic development.  If at any time you find yourself in need of specialized labor, contact your nearest SIB Labor Representative to obtain a calendar of upcoming labor drives.  You can find one located in your precinct's largest grass field. 

We, at the Squirrel Interference Bureau, intend to bring the squirrel population as active participants into the global economy.  Any money made from the Human portion of this website, found on the ground, or taken from Humans who interfere with squirrels will be used to pay for this website past, present, and future.

Future Objectives:  We, at the Squirrel Interference Bureau, have many goals to further our species.  Due to the sensitive nature of our operations, these cannot be made available to the public at this time.

In Closing:  In closing, this is an exciting time for squirrels around the world.  We are determined to help squirrels elevate their status with Humans to the point where the SIB are no longer necessary. In the meantime, we at the Squirrel Interference Bureau are proud to serve, protect, and nurture the greatest species that has ever roamed the planet.